Thursday, July 27, 2006


Canim Anneme

Yine bir bayram daha sensiz anne
Aramızda aşılmaz mesafeler
Sende boyun büktün bensiz anne
Aramızda yığın yığın engeller
Herkes bayram yapar güler eğlenir,
Benimse içimden ağlamak gelir
Şu gurbet ellerde ömrüm tükenir,
Belki de kavuşmak mahşerde anne
Sesini duyunca bayram akşamı,
Bin katına çıktı gönlümün kanı
Ben neyleyim sensiz geçen bayramı,
Her gün ağlıyorum bu yerde anne
Yüreğim yanar sensiz boynum bükülür,
Gözlerimde kanlı yaşlar dökülür
Bayram günü hasret nasıl çekilir,
Ayrılık yazılmış kaderde anne
Evlat hasretiyle yanmış ki için
Soruyorsun " Oğlum, ayrılık niçin?"
Dedim ya beklenen bir bahar için,
Ne zaman diyorsan ilerde anne
Gül toplamak için atıldım yola,
Her taraf gül olmadan veremem mola
Kızma ne olur dönmedim diye hâla,
Bütün ümidimiz güllerde anne. . .

Gül kokmali dünya,güle donmeli,
Cenneti-asa bahar artik gelmeli
Uc asir aglayan yüzler gülmeli,
iste düstüm boyle bir derte annem,

Sunday, May 14, 2006

Final Essay for Spring 2006

Ahmet Caglar
May 15th

Final Essay

The authors, whom we read in this semester, and their essays were fascinating for me. I have never read them, actually, even never heard most of them before. Most probably, if I did not take this course I would have not read them at all. Fascinating does not mean, however, that I like all of them. I understand most of the stories but some that are written in an old English format. I could not totally grasp the message of some stories such as ‘The declaration of independence,’ ‘The death of the moth,’ and the other old English essays.

I have read almost all essays more than five times. As I read them, I developed a personal strategy to evaluate the essays. At first, for example, I figured out some vocabularies that I don’t know or I am not sure what it meant in essay, then I looked up dictionaries and tried to understand their meanings. Every so often, this was not enough though. If I don’t know more than one word in the sentence, I was asking another person who knows better than me. Sometimes this was not even enough, because of the ambiguity of the words or because of my incapability of understanding of the tutors. For instance, I did not understand the word ‘Spartan-like’ until our teacher told us in the class.

It was a great joy reading some of the essays because of their marvelous stylistic features. For example, I recommend that everybody should read ‘Dumpster diving’, ‘Me talk pretty one day’ and ‘Where I lived and for what’, which are clearly written and enjoyable readings. I think that clarity is an important characteristic for a successful essay. Unfortunately, this important feature is not achieved by the all authors whom we have read so far. Gloria Anzaldua frequently employs Spanish quotes throughout her article presuming that any reader can understand. But, at least, I could not. It was very boring for me try to understand what is going on. I have enough problems with my English! Plus Spanish! Oh my god! It was just ‘tough’ essay for me. But, it was interesting to learn her ethnic background though. More interesting thing was to compare the works of Anzaldua and Eric Liu. Actually, our all comparisons were better than plain essays; but, I earned an impression that making scholarly comparison was not an easy task.

George Orwell was a good start for me, because his topic drew my attention in the essay despite of British-English vocabularies. I though that my fellow students also enjoyed so much in reading. Yet, they seem not interested in Orwell as I anticipated: I observed that they did not even well respond to the teacher’s questions in the class.

Moreover, I, as a non-native American, don’t have enough knowledge as native students do about American history. Therefore, it was both a shocking and an enriching experience for me to read Frederick Douglass. I learned many historical facts of African American history. I amazed by the fact that many blacks were considered as beasts for a very long time in the so-called “land of freedom.”

Reading David Sedaris’s work was a more inspiring and thought-provoking practice. This is because, I think, Sedaris’s experiences were similar to my experiences of learning language; therefore, I have paid a special attention to every single sentence in his essay. I think that I grasped the author’s difficulties more than anybody in the class. One stimulating point for me was that he shows a great patience to his French teacher. He does not act in a way of regular American people. This point, here, is not clear to the reader. We can fairly understand that French is very important for him but he doesn’t explain why that much important.

As I mentioned above, it was a good opportunity to read these essays. I understood as maximum as possible; nonetheless, understanding does not mean that I can suddenly write my thoughts and feeling about the essays. Far from it. It is a small step. Every moment spent on homework essays are like having a cesarean section. Despite of all difficulties I encountered, I felt when I saw my work at the end was a great joy.

Tuesday, April 04, 2006

Culture and Language

Culture and Language

Anzaldua speaks in Spanish throughout the essay presuming that all her readers understand it. Anzaldua starts out with a story about her, and she throws in quotes that she is familiar with that also corroborate with her position. These are from her ethnic background, which shows the reader that she is still holding on to her roots.
However, Eric Liu is different from Anzaldua. He focuses on culture even he doesn’t have enough knowledge of his parent's Chinese culture. He believes that a person cannot gain a new world without losing his soul. But something is gained as well. The result is a new mix of cultures. But I think this depends on cultures. There are people who do change their language but keep traditions as much as possible, such as Jews, Chicanos and so on. There are people who cannot change their language but culture, such as young generation of the third world countries.

Liu's parents did not teach him anything in particular to do, except to be a good boy. I think this is a typical sign for weak cultural background. For Liu every single change in person's life is 'assimilation'. I do not think it is. He cannot understand the word assimilation as much as emigrants can because he grew up in the USA. Without language, you cannot understand that culture. Anzaldua was not allowed even penalized to speak Spanish at school. I do not think this is possible in the 'land of freedom'. It seems some Americans want all people to be the same. No one realizes that America is a mixture of so many different cultures. American society should be proud to have so much diversity in one place, but instead they look down upon it.

Sunday, March 12, 2006

Douglass

Douglass

     To become literate is a dream for Douglass. He has tried everything as much as he could for this dream. Determination is a right word for Douglass. His mistress taught him the alphabet before her husband’s precepts. As a result of that, Douglass has already learned the inch, and no precaution could prevent him from taking the ell. He had many plans for his goal. One of the successful one’s making friends with the little white boys in the street. He converted them into teachers and finally learned how to read. He always took his book with him, when he was sent for errands. The more he read, the more he was led to abhor and detest his enslavers. Freedom was heard in every sound, and seen in everything. He saw nothing without seeing it, he heard nothing without hearing it, and felt nothing without feeling it. Freedom looked from every star, it breathed in every wind, and moved in every storm. He followed some kind of methods for to reach freedom. For instance, one day he saw two Irishmen unloading a scow of stone. He went there and helped them without asking. They really liked him and gave a piece of advice “run away”. He pretended not to be interested in what they said and treated them as stupid. He feared that they might be treacherous. He sought the best time for escape to the north. He improved his writing until he could write a hand similar to that of Master Thomas.

Wednesday, March 08, 2006

Destiny and Human Free Will

We feel remorse when we do something wrong. We beg God's forgiveness for our sins. If we trouble or harm someone, we ask that person to excuse us. These actions show that we choose to act in a particular way. If we could not choose our actions and were compelled to do them by a superior power, why should we feel remorse and seek forgiveness for anything?

Only the insane are not held responsible for their acts. Human reason and other mental faculties require us to decide and act freely; the results seen in our lives prove the truth of this assertion. Without free will, human reason and other faculties have no meaning.

We will and God creates. A project or a building's plan has no value or use unless you start to construct the building according to it, so that it becomes visible and serves many purposes. Our free will resembles that plan, for we decide and act according to it, and God creates our actions as a result of our decisions. Creation and acting are different things. God's creation means that He gives actual existence to our choices and actions in this world. Without God's creation, we cannot act.

Destiny is a title for Divine Knowledge. God's Knowledge comprehends everything within and beyond time and space. If your knowledge allows you to know beforehand that a certain thing will happen at a certain future time, your "prediction" will come true. But this does not mean that your foreknowledge caused it to happen. Since every thing and event are comprehended in God's Knowledge, He writes what will happen at a given time and place, and it does so. What God writes and what we do are exactly the same; not because God writes it and then forces us to do it, but because we will it and then do it.

For example: A train travels between Hartford and New York. Considering its speed and characteristics, the railway's condition, the distance between the two cities, as well the number of stations along the way and how much time must be spent in each, a timetable can be prepared. Does this timetable cause the train to travel?
The time and duration of solar and lunar eclipses are known and written beforehand based on astronomical calculations. Does such foreknowledge and recording cause the eclipses? Of course not. Since astronomers knew beforehand when the eclipse would occur, they recorded it. The same relationship exists between Destiny and human free will.

Our free will is included in Destiny. For example, someone asks you whether the clock in the next room is working. You hear it and answer in the affirmative. The questioner does not need to ask whether its hands are moving, for if the clock is working, its gears are working and its hands are moving. In an analogous way, Destiny and human free will are not mutually exclusive. We are neither dried leaves blown by the wind of Destiny nor completely independent of It. As Islam always follows the middle way, it explains the true relationship between Destiny and our free will: we will and do something, and God creates it.

We may summarize the discussion so far in seven points:

1. Divine Destiny, also called Divine determination and arrangement, dominates the universe but does not cancel our free will.

2. Since God is beyond time and space and everything is included in His Knowledge, He encompasses the past, present, and future as one undivided and united point. For example: If you are in a room, your view is restricted to the room. If you look from a higher point, you can see the whole city. As you rise higher and higher, your vision continues to broaden. The Earth, when seen from the moon, appears to be a small blue marble. It is the same with time.

3. Since all time and space are included in God's Knowledge as a single point, God recorded everything that will happen until the Day of Judgment. Angels use this record to prepare a smaller record for each individual.

4. We do not do something because God recorded it; God knew beforehand what we would do it and recorded it.

5. There are not two destinies: one for the cause, the other for the effect. Destiny is one and relates simultaneously to the cause and the effect. Our free will, which causes our acts, is included in Destiny.

6. God guides us to good things and actions, and allows and advises us to use our willpower for good. In return, He promises us eternal happiness in Paradise.

7. We have free will, although we contribute almost nothing to our good acts. Our free will, if not used properly, can destroy us. Therefore we should use it to benefit ourselves by praying to God. This will make it possible for us to enjoy the blessings of Paradise, a fruit of the chain of good deeds, and attain eternal happiness. Furthermore, we always should seek God's forgiveness so that we might refrain from evil and be saved from the torments of Hell, a fruit of the accursed chain of evil deeds. Prayer and trusting in God greatly strengthen our inclination toward good, and repentance and seeking God's forgiveness greatly weaken, even destroy, our inclination toward evil and transgression.

On Compassion

On Dumpster Diving is one of the most fascinating essays I have ever read. Lars Eighner approaches homelessness from the perspective of a professional way. For instance, he avoids ethnic foods that he is unfamiliar with and he knows where to find fresh pizzas and what time is the best for it. He describes dumpsters and explains them with the intellectual examples and the rational details. Eighner is particularly interested in how he can approach his foods rationally and describe them to the reader. Nonetheless, he doesn’t talk about himself much in his essay. It is a poorer essay from this point for that omission despite its perfect approach to "homeless life".

Saturday, March 04, 2006

First Essay

In his work entitled Shooting an Elephant, George Orwell is a subdivision police officer in an aimless and petty way in Lower Burma. He and the other Europeans were hated by large number of people. For instance, if a European woman went trough the bazaars alone somebody would probably spit betel juice over her dress. One day a nimble Burman tripped Orwell up on the football field and the referee looked at the other way, crowd yelled him with hideous laughter. Anti-European feeling was very bitter; as a result, such incident occur every English man in the East every next day.
He decided that Imperialism was evil thing and sooner he chucked up his job. He was all for Burmese and all against the British. But he can not do anything for them, he was young and ill-educated and he had to think out his problem in the utter silence like every English man in the East. He was stuck between his problems and hatred of empire. How can we understand that it is true for Orwell? As he mentions, sometimes Burmese insult him but he did not do anything to them at least not kill them. He could do so for any reason.
One day an elephant was ravaging the bazaar. They were asking for help him to do something. He says that he did not know what he could do. He was a policeman however he does not know what to do? Because their job was to just stay over there and show up as a white British soldier. He found the elephant and started to think what he should do? He had no intention to shoot the elephant since it values more than any damn coolie. But there was a bunch of people who wanted to kill the elephant and get some meat for the meal. Orwell as a main character has to decide what to do besides he decided to kill the elephant.
Afterwards, there was an endless discussion about the shooting an elephant. Among the Europeans opinion was divided. The older men said that he is right; on the other hand, the younger men said that it is a damn shame. The owner could not say anything since he was an Indian and could do nothing. Orwell thinks that he did the right thing because a mad elephant has to be killed, if the owner fails to control it. But end of his writing he says the following that: “I often wonder is there anything that I had done it just to avoid looking a fool.” Obviously, Orwell is inconsistent here.
David Sedaris, in Me Talk Pretty One Day, is forty one years old. He’s moved to Paris with hopes of learning the language. He took a French class before leaving the New York and spent a few summer in the northern France so he was not in the dark at all. It gave me an idea that it was very important for him to learn French, so he was a little nervous first day of the school. He went to school early in the first day. Regardless of student’s nationalities, everyone spoke in what sounded to him like excellent French.
He felt himself different than the other students who were all young, attractive and well dressed. Also he knew that he’d be expected to perform what he knows in the class by the teacher. The teacher was elucidating administrative announcements. Sound was not unusual for him, yet he assumed that he understood only half of what the teacher was saying.
His teacher started with the French alphabet; “All right, who knows the alphabet” she asked. It was startling for Sedaris as a student who knows a little French. He realized that he did not know how to pronounce letters yet he knew what they look like. It was a David’s turn. He already made his effortless list; his detest and his love nevertheless he mispronounced IBM and assigned the wrong gender to both the floor waxer and the typewriter. The teacher’s reaction was like the worst crime that he made.
It was unusual for Sedaris. He thought this was the stupid thing and also what kind of teacher is she? It looks; this was the cultural shock for him. One day his teacher said that “I hate you” with flawless English. That made Sedaris ambitious. He studied French 24/7. While he was learning French and he started to catch his mistakes than the earlier time. He convinced that everything that he said was wrong. If someone asked him a question, He pretended to be deaf.
Over time it became impossible to believe that any of them would ever improve. One day again the teacher single him out, said “Every day spent with you is like having a cesarean section” and he realized that he understands every single word that teacher was saying. It was a great joy for him so that he responded, “I know the thing that you speak exact now. Talk me more, you, plus, please, plus.”
Understanding does not mean that you can suddenly speak the language. Far from it. It is a tiny step, nothing more. I would say it is the most important step. When you understand you improve your language that motives you more than anything.
Linda Hogan, in Dwellings, tells the intertwined story of her life and Native American history. She explains a spiritual history of the living world. She starts her writing with “Not far from where I live...” She portrays place where she lived. She continues with “… the Anasazi left behind when they vanished mysteriously centuries ago.”
She elucidated bees like human workers, “in and out through the holes, back and forth between daylight. They were flying an invisible map through air and circling story they told one another about the direction of food”. She belonged there. She daydreamed of living in a place like the old times. She wanted to be room apart from others, a hidden cabin to rest in. She wanted to be in a redwood forest with trees so tall the owls called out in the daytime. For her it is a perfect world for staying out of cold winter, for escaping the noise of living. How often she wanted to escape to a wilderness where human hand has not been reach. But those were only dreams of peace, a sanctuary where a dream or life would not be invaded.
She told us the story of her dream. One day a man moved into cave that could only reached by climbing down a rope. He lived there like a cave dweller. Everything was good until he felt lonely. He went to the town and found a wife. She climbed down the rope along with him. She as a woman wanted to organize everything in order. Therefore they built a door. Because of the closed entryway, the temperature changed. They had to put in heat. Then the inner moisture of earth warped the door, as a result they had to have air conditioning, and after that the earth wanted to go about life in its own way and it didn’t give in to the people.
She works at a rehabilitation facility for birds of prey. She was raking the gravel floor of a flight cage. There were two fetal mice on the ground. There were listening to the first sounds of earth. But the ants were biting them. She dipped them in the water, and let the ants fall in the pail. She was trading one life for another. But she hated that they had not yet grown to a life, and already they faced the miserable world of pain. Death and life feed each other. The whole world was a nest, on its humble tilt, in the maze of the universe, holding us.
Virginia Woolf’s The Death of the Moth published after her suicide. In other word, this essay is her first draft but it is as delicious as the last draft. The last draft would be a little different than this but surely not much better writing.
She starts with moths. The moths are neither gay like butterflies nor sobre like their own species. It was mid-September. The rooks were keeping one of their annual festivities; soaring round the tree tops. The same energy which inspired the rooks, the ploughmen, the horses, and even, it seemed, the lean bare-backed downs, sent the moth fluttering from side to side of his square of the windowpane. She watched him cautiously. The moth was little or nothing but life.
After time, the moth tired by dancing apparently. He was trying to resume his dancing, but seemed either so stiff or so awkward that he could only flutter to the bottom of the window-pane; and when he tried to fly across it he failed. The helplessness of his attitude roused her. She laid the pencil down. It was useless to try to do anything. Nothing she knew had any chance against death. The struggle was over. The insignificant small creature now knew death. The Moth seemed to say, “Death is stronger then I am”.

Dumpster Diving

On Dumpster Diving is one of the most fascinating essays I have ever read. Lars Eighner approaches homelessness from the perspective of a professional way. For instance, he avoids ethnic foods that he is unfamiliar with and he knows where to find fresh pizzas and what time is the best for it. He describes dumpsters and explains them with the intellectual examples and the rational details. Eighner is particularly interested in how he can approach his foods rationally and describe them to the reader. Nonetheless, he doesn’t talk about himself much in his essay. It is a poorer essay from this point for that omission despite its perfect approach to "homeless life".

Monday, January 09, 2006

Gül kokmali dünya










Gül toplamak için atıldım yola,
Her taraf gül olmadan veremem mola,
Kizma ne olur donmedim diye hala,
Butun umidimiz güllerde annem,

Gül kokmali dünya,güle donmeli,
Cenneti-asa bahar artik gelmeli
Uc asir aglayan yüzler gülmeli,
iste düstüm boyle bir derde annem,